What is anime?
It is something that fills a void and yet creates one at the same time. Is it like lusting and longing for something or someone you can never hold. When I watch it I become a part of it. I can’t tell reality from fantasy anymore. I become consumed. Sometimes I wish I could die and live in an anime world where anything is possible. In reality most things are just impossible. That is why we have to dream to keep going in life. I have loved, lost and found my way in anime. It is my most true passion. How many times have I fallen in love with you?

Akabane
Rikugo
Kyohei

For all those who are coming to eat with me at PF Chang's I had to change the time due to all the proms. So, we are meeting at 9pm and not 8pm.

I am sorry to have to change the time!!!

My Birthday is this coming Saturday and I want all my friends to come and eat with me at PF Chang's at 8pm. All that can make it please let me know so I can make reservations this Saturday. I hope to see everyone there, cause it has been a while since I have seen some of you.

Love ya,

Jennifer

I have not posted in forever, but I could not help but to write about what happened to me today. There is a guy at work who has a major crush on me, but he is a bit too young for me. He just turned 21 on Wed. He does not seem to know much about the ladies, so he is taking some sort of internet advise on how to get a girl. Well what he does not understand is that all not all girls are alike. So, he comes over to my counter at work today and I noticed that his pants were way too tight. He is really skinny and these pants made him look funny, and for some reason my eyes gravitated to his crotch. I was like omg, I can see his penis. There it was plain as day, his cock. He was wearing pants so tight that you could see every freaking detail. I had no idea he actually knew about it, until he was telling me that he has more than any Asian guy could ever have. I was laughing and getting sick to my stomach thinking about his penis. I told him to get away from my counter cause he was going to scare off the customers. What a strange guy. I guess he thinks I want him because he has a big penis, but I could care less.

Once upon a dream, I was a pirate in love with my fiancé who was a captain of a pirate ship I served on. After losing our ship to a terrible storm, and we set up camp close to the calm ocean waters. My fiancé was fast asleep in his tent as we carried out the last man found from the wreckage to be burned. We carried him far away from the camp and took with us two torches, which were said to be cursed. Even so, these torches were all we had to finish the incineration of the bodies. The torches magically lit themselves as we put the burning flames to the flesh. Suddenly, what looked to be a demon appeared before us. Not just any demon, but the most beautiful male demon I had ever seen. He was tall with dark black hair and pale skin. He had ice blue eyes and had a scent of the gods. He came after us with great force. Green electric waves came from his hands at us as we rode our horses fast to the dark shore.

When he landed on the ground I was suddenly intoxicated by his presence. I grabbed him and took him to my tent; I had never wanted anyone so bad in all my life. We kissed as we slowly disrobed one another. I knew I would have to offer my body as a sacrifice to save my fellow crewmates. I knew that this demon was known to kill many women simply by making love to them. I did not personally know him, but intimate feelings for him completely overwhelmed me. He had the ability to rape women without even touching them and subsequently kill them when he reached his final ecstasy. I knew what my fate was to be, but something was different.

He made love to me, touching every part of my body that could be touched. As he held me tighter, I began to take control. I grabbed his penis and inserted it inside me, getting on top of him. I had never felt anything like it before. I reached bliss more times than I could have ever imagined. After he noticed I could take no more, he pulled away from me. I was not dead. He did not kill me. Why? Why was I different than any of the other women before? He gazed into my eyes and told me that something was different about me and that he would visit me again soon. I longed for the moment in which I could see him once again.

Today was interesting. Chase sent me a text and it turned into him coming all the way from Cookville to see me. He took me out to eat at Wasabi and then he took me to my appointment at UT. I am so glad he took me because I would have never found a parking spot on that campus. I really don't want to go to UT, but that may be my only choice. It seems I am going to be in college forever again. I feel like I have just wasted the past seven years of my life. I have nothing to show for it and it really sucks. I had such big plans for myself and I was fearless to go to Japan. Now I am an empty shell of what I was just a few years ago. I have lost my way and I don't know how to get back to where I was. I have become so comfortable. Falling in love has always been the biggest mistake of my fucking life. It always seems to hold me back and I never seem to get over it. What the fuck is wrong with me? My heart is way too big for one person to carry. I wish I could just let go of the past and move on, but alas I cannot. I wish I could change the past....

AWA was a lot of fun. I spent way too much money, but had a lot of fun doing it. I got to stay with Grace, Anna, and Amber. We stayed at the Windgate hotel. It was nice to be able to get away for the weekend, but I still had JP on my brain. How sad... I can't seem to escape the thought of him even when I am having so much fun. I guess having fun was something I used to do with him, so when I have fun I always wish he were there with me sharing it. I wish I could move on with my life. If only I could have a hot boytoy like the ones I keep dreaming about.
Which comes to another dream I had about two cute guys. I was having sex with two different and very hot guys, and they did not mind at all. I was in some sort of cult where the ladies had men as their sex slaves. How awesome is that!!! What is even better is that all the guys were so hot and it seemed like they actually had feelings for me. Who knows, it was a cool ass dream. One of my boytoys was the guy who plays Phil in Disney's Phil of the Future, he is so hot. The other guy is from The Real World, and I did not care for him as much.

I have been consumed by my dreams lately. I keep having dreams about men I love or like in some way. The other night I had a dream about Prince William. I have no idea why I dreamed about him of all people, but I did.
I met Prince William under odd circumstances in my dream. He saw that I was in need of help, because my short skirt kept being pushed by the wind. So, being the kind British gentleman that he is he came to my rescue and helped me hold my skirt down. To my extremely happy surprise it was the Prince himself coming to save me from embarrassment. I noticed that while he was holding my skirt down he seemed to be having a peek at my knickers. I did not mind though, I would have been delighted if he had helped me take them off since it is the Prince helping me, hehe. He at that point asked me to come visit him sometime at his grandmothers Alabama (why Alabama I don’t know?) estate next year when he was to visit the states again. I was overjoyed and thus ended that part of my dream. Well it does not end there, later on in my dream I was actually in England with Prince William and we were now dating. He was trying to decide what he wanted to do with all of the left over furniture after the renovations on this estate. I was telling him to have an auction and let the proceeds go to charity. That was the end of my small love affair with William.
I am sorry if this seems lame to write dreams down, but it really helps me to get them out. I want to be able to remember them years from now, so please don’t get annoyed at my odd writings.

I had a dream about you last night. It was so real. When I woke up it took my breath away. I felt as though I was going to die and I wished I had never woke up from that dream. I was playing some unknown sport in a in a huge arena when one of my girlfriends came up to me and told me that Nathan (my boyfriend from childhood, but of course in my dreams he is all grown up) was looking for me. She told me he was in love with me and wanted to be with me. I have dreamed about you before, but it has been years since that time. When I saw you, I knew I loved you and wanted you as desperately as you wanted me. I ran to you and threw my arms around you. For some reason you were so familiar to me, though we had never really touched in my other dreams. I knew your smell, your look, and the way your body felt with your arms around me. I felt as though it had happened many times before. I could not let you go and I wanted you more then I could fathom. When we would talk, we spoke of times that happened in my past dreams of you. I felt as though I knew you in real life. I could not get your smell out of my head. In the middle of us holding each other I awoke to find it was a dream and I was alone. You are a dream of someone who does exist, someone who I love so much. JohnPaul why do you torture me even in the depths of my dreams? It was not Nathan in my dreams it was you, with your familiar touch and smell. Why do I love you so much? Not even my dreams can free me from my prison of you. I love you…..
I have dreamed about Nathan many times, in fact he shows up in many of my dreams since I was nineteen years old. This dream was different because Nathan has never loved me before or held me, so it was the person I love in real life who was in my dreams.

Here is the link for the Ebay Tsukasa bottle.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=012&item=220009412119&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1

I will be putting up Tsukasa's Heineken bottle from when I had dinner with D'espairsray last year in November. I am starting the auction on Ebay tomorrow. I just wanted to let all my friends know about it. I really did not want to let that item go but I really need the money bad otherwise I would never try to sell it. I will link the auction on here tomorrowl. I will also be doing overseas shipping if someone wants it. I hope everyone is doing well.

OK, who went and saw D'espairsray this last time they came? I can't remember who was saying that they won the back stage passes to see them. Please give good details!!! I have not been checking my LJ as often as I would like because my comp. does not have any internet to it right now. So, if I missed this very important information please kick me or link it so I can read it. Thanks :)
I hope everyone is doing well!!
I have been way too obsessed with the new DS Lite that my roommate got. He can't even play it because I play with it so much. Plus, I can't stop playing Animal Crossing. It is the best game in the whole freaking world. It has the highest lvl of cuteness I have ever seen. I wake up just to play this game!!! If you have this gave too let me know so we can visit each others towns. Thanks :)

It looks like I have the job at Toys R Us!!! Yay!! I love toys. The only thing they have to do is my background check and then I have the job. I really hope I get this job because I really really need a job.

I took this quiz and it was fun, though I don't think with the answers that I gave I would have got Hizumi. Go figure.

I just wanted to say sorry to all my LJ friends. I have been in the process of moving out of my old apartment into my new one and I have had some trouble getting my internet to work. I love to make comments but have been so busy lately that I have not. I also have been very sick, but am starting to feel better now. I hope everyone is doing well.

Last night was a strange night for me. My ex-boyfriend came by my house to see me at like 1am; I was ok with him coming over. I had some questions I had really wanted to ask him for a while. When we broke up back in November of 2004, I went crazy. I had never been so in love with someone in my life, in fact it almost drove me to my grave. Last night I asked him what he really felt about me when we were dating. He told me that many guys don't tell girls how they really feel about them because that leaves the guy vulnerable. Well, he told me that I was a "perfect" girl friend; he said "too perfect" he said that he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and ask me to be his wife. But, he said that scared him so much because he was not ready for that kind of a relationship. So, he decided to back off from me so he could have space. So, after over a year I finally find out the real truth about our relationship. Needless to say it was strange, but I have no feelings for him now. In fact he was coming onto me very strong, trying to kiss me and grab me. But, there is this one person that I can't get out of my head. So, I never gave into any of his advances. I feel faithfulness to a guy who I am not even dating, and that is what kept me from doing things with my ex-boyfriend. My life is so crazy. I still don’t agree with what he said about leaving yourself vulnerable. If you love someone then you should tell them, I mean what does it help to keep all those feelings inside. I like to let my feelings out otherwise I would go crazy!!!!

I did not think I would get this answer but I did. Kind of cool in a way, but there were some very obvious questions to pick to get this answer. Take the quiz for yourself.

You Should Date A Japanese Guy!

You're an interesting blend of traditonal and modern And a Japanese guy is likely to be on your wavelength Maybe you'll show your love by dying your hair the same color Or get married in a traditional white kimono!

Ok, I don't know what is wrong but for some reason I can't put up my pics of MTAC. I have been wanting to put these up for a while but I have just been way too busy, so I guess the pics will have to wait. Anyway I had a really good time at MTAC. I got to talk to John from jpophouse; he was very cool as always. He was talking about all the fun he had with Dir en grey when they were in town, plus all the stress. Poor John!! I did manage to buy a Dir en grey tour poster since I was not able to go because of the death sickness. So, that was a very nice thing, it made me feel better about not being able to be at the concert. I also got 3 Shoxx magazines and one Gothic Lolita Bible. Oh, and I got 1 Totaro pin.
It was Nate, Steve, Will, El Toro, and me who went on this trip together. We ran around and had a blast. I did not spend that much money at all when you look at the damage that Nate and Will did. Nate and Will spent over $250 each, they are crazy. We also went to the Hentai room and watched some good stuff, and I totally loved this one Hentai called Sex Warrior Pudding. It is so cheesy, but it gets me hot for some strange reason. So, Nate downloaded the rest of the series for me since he knows I like it so much. Anyway, I will put of pics of us when I get this problem fixed.

I was planning to have a get together this Friday for my Birthday, but I have decided to cancel it. It was going to be at Ginza Japan, but I just decided I really don't have time to get everyone together, it has just become too much hassle. I have too much work to do for school, since next week is my week of finals. I really can't stay in town long, so I am sorry if you were planning on coming to eat with me. Maybe another time would be better. I am sorry!!

How many of my friends are on Facebook? If so let me know so I can add you. If you want to add me just look for Jennifer Davis ETSU.